This is a little list I've compiled in my head every time something has come up in my life making me think I have a sickness. A sickness that the rest of the civilized world could never possibly understand or relate to. The more scenarios you have to sheepishly yet proudly raise your hand to is your indicator of how deep your maddening obsession for fly fishing is.  

If you've ever used 5x as dental floss...you might be a trout bum.  

If the dentist has ever told you that you have an unusual where between your top and bottom k9 teeth and you insist you don't know why, but know perfectly well its because you don't use your nippers...you might be a trout bum.

If you are walking through a college campus on a sunny day with short skirts everywhere, but find yourself staring into the campus pond looking at carp...you might be a trout bum.

If you insist that beer pong (or similar drinking games for those too old to have experienced this new college pastime) should be played with a 5 foot 1 weight...you might be a trout bum.

If you've ever invented a beer pong game that involved 20 cut pieces of PVC pipe  and a fly rod...you might be a trout bum.

if pt, bhpt, bwo, pmd, rs2, wd40, wd50, etc. means anything to you...you might be a trout bum.

If even in the presence of “normal people” you have become automatically conditioned to divert all attention to a bug a flying over your head...you might be a trout bum. 

if your dinning room table is scattered with tying material most evenings...you might be a trout bum.

If you've ever removed the lint thingy from the drier and thought, “hmm.. dubbing”...you might be a trout bum.

If there is a rod fully rigged and strong across the inside of your truck 365 days a year...you might be a trout bum.

If you refer to the visor in your vehicle with flies poked in it as the "dash of fame"...you might be a trout bum

If the gear in your car that you leave your keys to for the sketch shuttle driver is worth more then the vehicle itself...you might be a trout bum. 

If you’ve ever had not a car, but a BOAT booted in an unauthorized parking lot...you might be a trout bum.

If the sole phrases  “front left”, or “gas cap” mean anything to you...you might be a trout bum. 

If every time you see a worm container on the side of the river and automatically say, “bait dunkers” yet fail to remember you leave thousands of yards of non-degradable fluorocarbon tippet and lead shot in the river bottom every year...you might be a trout bum.

If your significant other has promptly slapped you after slamming the breaks at a red light because you grabbed the rod strong over her head to protect it instead of her...you might be a trout bum. 

If your only words of wisdom to a starry eyed rookie guide is “Answer your phone and be prepared to lose your girlfriend”...you might be a trout bum.

If your girlfriend in all seriousness asked you to choose between her or fishing, and you strait up told her fishing...you might be a trout bum.

If your now wife once broke up with you because you were fishing too much but ultimately ended up owning a fly shop with you...you might be a trout bum.

If you've ever swam across a river with a rod and gear to a good hole during run-off you knew was loaded with fish...you might be a trout bum. (NOT ADVISED OR CONDONED BY FFO--I was young and foolish)

If the number to check the stream flow is the first number in your phone...you might be a trout bum. 

If you’ve ever gone off of and/or almost gone off the road while driving by a river because you were watching the water and not the road...you might be trout bum.

If you've ever had to sit inside your car with the heater cranked for more then ten minutes before removing your wading boots because the laces were too frozen to take your boots off...you might be a trout bum.

If you’d rather fish than ski on a powder day in January...you might be a trout bum. 

If you've ever walked into class or work with the smell of fish on your hands and wet shorts...you might be a trout bum.

IF you advice people to walk carefully and wear shoes in your home because there are hooks in the carpet...you might be a trout bum.

Last but not least...

 If your significant other has every called you screaming because she just removed a size 24 nymph hook from the inside of her leg that was stuck in her underwear...YOU ARE A TROUT BUM! (and because just by being around you enough she was able to properly identify the hook as both a nymph hook, and a size 24) 

BONUS POINTS IF: Your reply is, “A size 24??? Darlin, I rowed a drift boat six miles with a size 2 tequilly stuck in my neck that a client hooked me with.”  (I didn't have the nerve for that one but I was sure thinking it).